Journal #14

Alex is a very frustrated young boy who's thoughts are being told exactly as how he thinks them through a 3rd person narrator. Readers experience the death of Alex's father's through the broken and fragmented pieces of his thoughts. He is angry that other people show more grief during the funeral than he shows, they don't have the right to be as sad or even to cry unless he cries himself. His sadness turns to angry tears as he witnesses these people grieve. He gets even more angry when he is compared to his father because he knows that he is not like him and he is bitter about that too.

"A fine feeling that... to be misunderstood... it made him feel tragic and great" (574) Alex is always misunderstood, even by himself as he cannot chose a profession or even what sexuality he is. He is constantly conflicted and attempting to figure out his own voice among the many brilliant ones that surround him.

Alex felt the music within his soul, it helped him to see colors and to feel them. I found it interesting that this story was not about crossing racial boundaries but crossing the boundaries of sexuality. The images of red lilies seem to arise constantly, symbolizing his desire for a woman (Melva). The black poppies symbolize his desires for men (Adrian aka Beauty). He is confused, he has no idea what he really wants. His thoughts are all jumbled together almost as if he enters in and out of consciousness. The blue smoke is ever present in this short story, leading me to think that he is doing some type of drugs beyond cigarettes. He finally accepts in the end that he can love men and women, and not be ashamed of that. This does make me question how homosexuality was viewed during the Harlem Renaissance. Was it accepted as long as the couples were of the same race? What did they think was more important, racial values or sexual preferences? Today, I would say sexuality is more of a hot topic of discussion as compared to inter-racial couples.

"Song" by Gwendolyn Bennet is both uplifting and depressing. I see a girl speaking the words at the beginning, with no recollection of the terrible history of her race, only optimistic words of sweetness, mirth and dark lips. But then a darker side follows. I see a woman who has known deep pain and heavy burdens, a woman who wants to remember the old forgotten bano songs. She is "the cry of a soul." The past weighs down on her to "make my singing sad." She represents the praying slave. The girl represents the jazz band after.

The poem kind of sounds like what white people back then thought of black people. During the Harlem Renaissance associated black people with merely slavery and jazz. Those who do not delve deeper can never understand the song.

Hatred stings the reader, although we don't know who it is directed towards we can take a guess. Hating has become a "game played with cool hands" which means that finally after years of oppression black people can stand up and retaliate, after decades of losing the game they can not have a shot. I think the most important part of the poem is "Memory will lay its hands upon your breast and you will understand my hatred." As though memory itself is a living thing, a beast that has been captivated and finally freed to seek its revenge. This is a very powerful poem that calls out the enemy and says "you will pay!"

Works Cited

Nugent, Richard. "Smoke, Lilies and Jade." The Portable Harlem Renaissance Reader. Ed. David Lewis. New York: 1995. 569-583.

Bennet, Gwendolyn. "Poems." The Portable Harlem Renaissance Reader. Ed. David Lewis. New York: 1995. 221-223.